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Kamis, 25 Juli 2013

Gods Desire

God always wants to have intimate relationship with us. He loves us so much so He has ignored our stubborn mind, our selfish character and our silly presumptuous life. 

He always has His way to attract our attentions. When we are in wealth state and forget our focus to be like Him, it can be in sudden we loss some, or everything.

Every person is unique before Him. His way have never been the same, even for twins. 

In my condition now, I learn to put my trust on Him, day by day continuously. Dependance on God is a never ending lesson of life. No certain curriculum, exact schedule for how long it will be. 

In my battle, right now I only see giants general blocking and attacking me. This is the way He push me back to the right track, after many times I search my own ways.

So when I see my first enemy, the Worry General, the only way is stop moving, bow in my knees and start talk to God. I write in my social network : "try not to be worry"
One of my friend which is a medical doctor too, send me the message, that interesting for me.

Below is the chat (in Bahasa) ;F: Friend, M : me
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F  : Chan worry knp?
M : Mamaku infark cerebri
F  :  Dlm kamus Tuhan ga ada kata worry. Worry is not from God.
M : Then I try not to be worry
F  : Chan dalam Tuhan ga ada yang perlu dikuatirkan loh. Banyak hal fakta dan ilmu yg kita belajar di kedokteran tuh kebalikannya dengan Firman. Ikut kata Firman aja.
M  : Amin
F   : Ambil langkah iman percaya kata Tuhan ya Chan
M  : Amin.  Tapi memang selalu bicara lebih mudah saat kita tidak mengalaminya. 
F   :  Jangan sampai fokus kita melenceng Chan.. Jangan mau kita diserang iblis. Ambil langkah iman dan perkatakan. Alami sendiri Tuhan Chan..jangan sampai kita jadi ga percaya sama Tuhan. Kuatir tu dah dosa loh. Ga ada damai sejahtera walau ada badai itu berarti fokusmu dah berubah..apa di dalammu masih ada Tuhan? 
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At first, my emotion suddenly swing like a bird fall from the tree. I only wrote what I feel, as human being. It didn't mean I live with worries all the time when my mom had been sick. I had get through harder situation before, when my mom laid for 1 month in intensive care. Why did a person who did not see me right now, make a judgement like that. I was not crying neither getting panic. Just wrote what I feel.

Then I tried to see, even God talk through my friend, not to show the expression for the worldwide. Does not mean He wants me to show only good thing, but in the text message or status in social media, it can make different perception. If you worried, sad, or whatever you faced the problem, better to talk with God and person who you really trust. Do not try to seek attention from the world, so they will put pity on you.

That is a lesson that I learn from that chat. 

Please do not make any judgement, because every person has their own enemies.

But really, I trust in one thing, God is willing for my focus, my life, only put on His hand. So He will use everything to pull me back to Him.


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