Christmas Gifts Part One

Some of you think that Christmas will be wonderful with many presents.

But for me, Christmas is always big time to regain my spirit life. No Santa comes in my house, no gifts that will make a big smile in my face. But, I will bow my knees unto His throne, realize that I am, really, really an ordinary man without any abilities to save any lives.

Remember December, 3rd 2010,  my mother had been sick for one month in Intensive Care Unit (ICU) because of Guillain Barre Syndrome. But in every suffers, God has His own plans to glorify His name. My sister took her own decision to be Christian.

December 2011, I was in a big disguise, because we (my husband and ) wanted to move from his hometown. Many reasons, but the most important is how to make us grow in Christ. I remember that I had to tell my boss, that I have to move from my job. There were two options, moved to other workplace, or worked by myself. Unsafe decision in our thoughts, because we want to buy a house with home loan, and I still took master degree with a lot of needs. But again, God made His surprise for me and my husband, that my boss would open another branches in my new place.

December 2012. I went home to my hometown. I did not know that my father had been sick for several days. And when I came, I was very surprise. It was five days before Christmas and all of my friends were busy, especially my father's doctor. I planned to bring my father to the doctor for the next day. But guess what happened ? 

I arrived to Solo at 1.oo pm. And at 5.00 pm I went to the emergency room because my father had fallen at the bathroom. He was very pale as no blood at his skin. His heart beat was very weak, and all of us (mother, sister, my husband and my daughter) were very scare. At first I thought that my father had to sleep in the hospital, but all of the room were full. Soon we went to another doctor, and he referred us to go to cardiologist in another hospital. We went there, and my father was much better, and the doctor told us to do some laboratory tests tomorrow morning. 

The second day, I brought my father to the laboratory, and I was very shocked. His creatinine level was 2,94. It meant that my father's kidney were not very well. 

As a doctor, I cried in my heart.  I remember that when I was still in college and when I worked at the emergency room, there was no hope for kidney failure. Chronic renal failure, there is no chance to be healed, and the future is clear, that kidney replantation or hemodialysis. I was very afraid, because I knew, that it will need a lot of money and painful. 

We seek for a profesor in kidney disease, my lecturer, but he was full, so my father had to make appoinment in another day.  I had to go back to my husband's hometown, so I could not deliver him. 

Thanks to God, my sister's friends came to my house and check my father's condition. Then he gave some medications, and my father felt rather good than before. 

But deep inside my heart, I cried aloud. Why ?? Why kidney disease ???? Why not just his heart or something else that can be protected or prevent than the kidney ?

Why did God gave me knowledge that it can not be cured ? ( I know my father know nothing about blogging and he will never read this story).

It was so hard times, that took all my strength and emotion. When my mother had Guillain Barre Syndrome, I knew that it was not a killer disease, except there were another infections. But this time, I only saw darkness.

You know something, my grandmother died at 2003 because of kidney's failure too. 

It was very scaring time.